Barely Walking Wounded
by UltimateSorceress
Summary: *Dedicated to Elizabeth Blackrose* Some wounds never heal and some memories are never forgotten.


_**Chapter One-Waking Up**_

**An: This story is dedicated to the lovely Elizabeth Blackrose! **

There are things in life you can never run away from, realities you can't escape, nightmares you never wake up from. At least that's what Hatsuharu Sohma felt. He felt like the last 6 months of his life was one unending nightmare he'd never wake up from, no matter how he tried. No matter how many times he told himself it wasn't real, this was a dream and it would all be over soon. That was not to be the case. Nothing was ok anymore. Haru felt like an empty shell simply going through the motions. Today however, was the exception. Today was much, much worse.

Haru stared at the cold, unforgiving earth with a void in his chest. He supposed thats where his heart was supposed to be but he couldn't feel it. Not when the etching in that hard rock read the name Tohru Sohma. Not when every dream he'd ever had had been torn away from him in a split second. The December wind was sharp as it whirled around him angrily, as if upset he was in this place again but his feet stayed rooted to their spot and dark eyes never left the headstone. Memories flooded in unbidden and all at once the heart Haru thought he couldn't feel squeezed so painfully, he doubled over and clutched his chest, groaning. A hand steadied his shoulder and he shoved its owner away, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Get the fuck away from me."

"I told you not to come here today. You're still too weak. You're going to get sick."

"No one asked you to come with me. Save the advice, _Doctor_." Haru straightened with a glare in Hatori's direction, moving away from him pointedly. Hatori went rigid and sighed loudly.

"Fine. I'll be waiting in the car."

Haru knew it wasn't fair to take out his anger on Hatori like he was but he couldn't help it. That anger at himself, at Tohru, at _everyone _ just bubbled over. He knew Tohru would be disappointed in him but that just made it worse. Staying mad forever wouldn't bring Tohru back, wouldn't fix the hole in his heart. It wouldn't make him forget. Walking back to the car, he slammed the door shut and slumped in his seat. Hatori didn't look at him, only put the car in gear and drive him back to his house.

"Remember you have an appointment tomorrow, Hatsuharu." Hatori didn't wait for an answer and Haru cursed at him as he drove away. For a long time, Haru simply looked at the house he and Tohru had shared, had made their home and finally, he turned and walked away. Tonight, he just couldn't take it.

* * *

"Tori!" The pounding on the door jolted Hatori awake, along with the familiar, angry voice. Stumbling down the stairs, cursing as he went, Hatori opened the door to find Haru throwing up over the railing.

"Haru? What the hell are you doing?!" Haru shouldn't have been drinking on the medications he was on but Hatori had a suspicion that Haru wasn't taking those anyways.

"I was drinking thats 't it obvious?" Haru wiped his mouth, a intoxicated chuckle leaving him as he stumbled to the door way.

"You gonna let me in or what?" He muttered, lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply. Hatori sneered at him. What had Haru become in his grief?

"Why? You have your own place, Haru. And you've made it clear you don't need my help or want it, so why come here?"

"Just fucking send me home then Hatori, don't preach at me and don't ask me stupid questions." He snarled, taking another drag of his cigarette and stepping in very close to Hatori, meeting his gaze. The stench of too much whiskey and cigarettes burned Hatori's nose and he pushed him away.

"Go home Haru."

"Not so good now, are you Tori? No good Samaritan here." He laughed bitterly, turning and stumbling his way down the steps. At this rate he'd never make it home. Not alive anyways. But Hatori was angry with the younger male.

"Fuck you Haru. I'm not the drunken fool who can't find his way home."

"I'm not a fool!" Haru was walking back up the steps now, a dark look in his eyes but still Hatori continued.

"Did you mean to come here or did you just get lost? Stupid Haru..." Hatori knew he was goading the boy but he couldn't help it. 6 months of Haru's anger had worn on his nerves and now this.

"I told you not to fucking say that!" Haru had Hatori by the front of his shirt before Hatori knew what was happening and had him pinned to the wall. Hatori knew better than to fight Haru when he was angry.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here Haru?"

A flicker of something haunted flashed through the younger boys eyes before he dropped the man, shaking his head and lighting another cigarette.

"I can't go home, Tori."

"Why?'

"She's everywhere." Haru pulled a flask from his coat pocked and took several long gulps, not looking at Hatori as he did.

"...Just for tonight Haru, I want you gone in the morning." Hatori knew he'd never ask the other to leave, not when he needed him but Haru only nodded, cigarette dangling between his lips. Hatori left him on the porch and went inside, crawling back into his bed.

It was a long while before Haru came in and Hatori was almost asleep when he felt the bed dip beneath Haru's weight and an arm drape over his stomach, clutching to him tightly. He thought about turning over and killing the man but the quiet sound of Haru's sobs kept him still.

It was just one night.

* * *

a.n: whoo first chapter! Review!

Ulti!


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